the biggest lie i tell myself is
"i don’t have time"
gotta change that.
it’s interesting how emotional heartache can actually manifest as physical pain. this is the reason why i’ve blocked myself off from grief and worry - it hurts too much, there’s so much sadness that i’ve left to accumulate and i currently do not have the liberty to feel vulnerable or break down. i have things to do. schoolwork to finish. a special someone to pick up from the airport in two weeks. it is not yet the time to open that box of emotions.
…. so why did i look through that folder with my dad’s cancer photos like an idiot?